A Disturbance At Bubba’s House
Last week it was reported that a total of three Deputy Sheriff cruisers along with the County K-9 Unit had responded to Bubba’s on what was initially believed to be a domestic disturbance. It was indeed a calamity at 2:30 am with the coon hounds a’barking, and the police radio interceptor volume maxed out.
Deputy Melvin Caddell reported that the victim, Bubba, who he had in handcuffs and leg irons claimed to be the victim of spousal abuse. He did appear to have abrasions on the upper buttocks. The perpetrator, Bubba’s spouse of some thirty-four years was standing adjacent to Deputy Caddell explaining the situation, after bumming two Marlboros.
It seemed that Bubba had been complaining of hemorrhoidal symtoms more than normal. It was further disclosed that one or more of the children had been accused of letting the air out of Bubba’s ‘innertube’. Desperately wishing to end the constant bellowing, Bubba’s spouse admitting to taking the matter into her own hands.
It seems that while he was asleep, the love of Bubba’s life checked to see for herself and low and behold a hemorroid was not the cause of the recent angst, but a boil the size of a golf ball had emerged along the crack of Bubba’s upper buttocks. This is where the pliars came into the picture.
Now each of the deputies, totally exhausted from restraining Bubba, and laughing under their breaths anxiously awaited Deputy Caddell’s decision to release Bubba. Nothing could restrain the laughter when Bubba’s wife loudly exclaimed “the damn thang was ready to pop.”